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Technically, MILF, we are all objects—"a material thing that can be seen and touched"—but unlike, say, Fleshlights or vibrators, we feel joy and pain and have wants and needs.

You can't help being drawn to this woman's externals; there's a huge visual component to human attraction and, as your thing for older women demonstrates, there isn't one universal standard of beauty.

Of course, watching someone deep throat and doing it yourself are two different things, DQ.

You won't be able to go from disclosing your kink to realizing it during that candlelit dinner.

Often shot in poster-covered bedrooms or in the family basement, on wavering Webcams, they range from diary-like accounts to pop-ballad-accompanied photo montages and practical tutorials on subjects like makeup for M. F.s (male-to-females) or binding (compressing breasts) for F. The You Tube channel for skylarkeleven, an upbeat, articulate F. M., takes viewers through his initial physical and psychological changes on testosterone, interviews with his mother, post-surgical reports on his mastectomy and hysterectomy, and his life as a college student and aspiring musician four years later. “I identify as a transman, a faggy queen, a homosexual, a queer, a nerd fighter, a writer, an artist, and a guy who needs a haircut,” he says in the video.

in sideburns and a baseball cap in one video, for instance, talks about the problem of dating in an era when things get physical so fast that he’s forced into explanations before he really knows a girl.

You sound like one of those gay men who can't tell you why he's attracted to dudes without also (or only) telling you what he dislikes about women.

As for objectification, MILF, the problem with objectification is when the person doing the objectifying isn't capable of simultaneously seeing the object of their affections as a three-dimensional human being with desires, fears, and agency of their own.

So long as you're can objectify someone while at the same time appreciating their full humanity—so long as you can walk that walk and chew that gum—you don't have to feel like a bad feminist for objectifying someone.

(Particularly when that someone is clearly objectifying you!

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